Day 1

So apparently for the first four days, we're supposed to drink two protein-y, dairy-packed shakes a day, one snack, and a soup of some sort, preferably with lots of protein (basically that means plants and grains...) and literally nothing else. I mean, you can drink water and seltzer, but that's about it.

• Breakfast: this consisted of a mixed berry shake. From what I saw, this was made with plain fat-free/low-fat yogurt, honey, coconut milk, powdered milk, flaxseed meal (yech!), peanut butter, vanilla essence and, of course the berries. it was good and filling. It held me over until eleven-ish, which is out usual lunch-time.
• Lunch: this time I added a roll of Romaine Lettuce to a Fat-free All-Natural Mozzarella stick to another shake. This one wasn't as good as the first one, probably because it had like a zillion melted ice-cubes in it. They were my mom's idea. I'd rather not take dairy products to school when it's 90 degrees outside. 
• Dinner: how does Garbanzo Bean Soup with Kale sound? actually not bad. We sprinkled it with a bit of feta cheese, and it was rather yummy.  

I'm rather looking forward to tomorrow. 

Why, of all things, I am doing a codswallop-y diet.

For the last six months, (since February, really) my mom and I have been (actively) trying to shed those few extra pounds our doctors and family (Hi, Grandma!) keep going on about. We've been going to the gym at 5 in the MORNING, most mornings, and working out like there's no tomorrow--actually, that might not be entirely true. We do, occasionally get lazy, but who wouldn't with long days at work (for her) and school for me? Not to mention the fact that I do have gym classes where we either run twenty minutes around the track, or do some kind of game-thing, or go down to the weights room and do stuff. Today, for instance, we went to the gym (I did 35 minutes on the Elliptical, you guys!!) in the morning, and then we did weight-lifting in school. Needless to say, I'm tired. But the point I forgot I was trying to make, is that all that weight-lifting and running, and overall wearing out both physically as well as mentally hasn't actually yielded any results. Asides from my slowly-increasing endurance, and the long-lasting discomfort in my tibia and my peroneus longus, tibialis anterior, gastrocnemicus, and soleus muscles.

Image from the Encyclopeadia Brittanica, no copyright infringement intended.

Thanks to Reader's Digest, "America's Most Trusted Magazine" my mom found a diet that supposedly helped you "Burn Fat Fast", and despite the horrendous amount of pills and powders and weird workouts already on the market claiming to do just that--and hardly ever actually working--she decided to give it a try. That particular edition of the magazine contained a sort of "sneak-peek" that no doubt would motivate people to buy the whole book (about $25+ S&H!!)--which is currently SOLD OUT on Amazon! The preview, as I like to think of it, really just said that you had to start out by eating SOUPS for a week, solid. 

That Saturday, my mom really went all out with her soups. They were fantastic, and really just what we needed with the awful late-winter-y weather. And she decided the diet did work, as much as an incomplete diet can, and so she ordered the book, which took six weeks to finally get here. I was able to read the first four books of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. I even read the short story "Young Zaphod Plays it Safe", and at least ten chapters of Mostly Harmless, among others. THAT IS HOW LONG IT TOOK FOR THE THING TO BE DELIVERED.

We got the book last Thursday, ate non-diety foods all throughout Memorial Weekend, and commenced on the Journey To A Healther, Happier, Less Fat-Filled Life. 

If what the book says is not complete codswallop I will have shed 21 pounds* in 21 days. I will not have given up Chocolate Ice Cream and Chocolate Cake, and Chocolate Amazingness for a full three weeks for nothing. 

If what the book says is true, I will have lost about four inches of belly-fat. I will not have tried kale and drank shakes for lunch in vain. I WILL NOT HAVE GIVEN UP COLOMBIAN FOOD FOR NOTHING.

That last ones is a particularly sore spot, given that I had been wanting to ask my Friend to go get some Bandeja Paisa or Empanada or whatever with me. gaaaaahhh.